Cafe Preggers

I don't know where I found this. It's kind of funny...if you're pregnant (or have been there before).

First Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Tums compote
Entree
Fresh Saltines on a bed of Saltines, lightly seasoned with Saltines
Beverage
Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast chicken, extra crispy
Entree**
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)
Beverage
Toll house pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies

Third Trimester Menu

(Each course followed by a 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None--so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac

**Double portions if you're expecting twins

by Melissa Balmain